whew, it's been quite a week.
Last Saturday at 4 AM I had the pleasure of getting my house broken into + wallet stolen.
It was quite a learning experience in many, many ways. For instance, giving money to homeless people who walk up to your door does not encourage them to go away and leave you alone, it makes them attached to you. So after you give them money two times they will likely come back for more.
Also, if you want to upset your parents more than you could possibly imagine, do something stupid like leave your window unlocked so the homeless man can get inside in the first place. Keep your social security card in your wallet (like your mom always told you not to) so he can steal that along with your money. Leave the blinds up at night so he can tell you're sleeping... or at least pretending to sleep, because thankfully he had the bright idea to try to wake me up (by banging on the bedroom window) to ask for money first, so I was awake and able to call 911 when I heard him in my living room.
I also learned that police are sometimes pretty cool and I'm thankful for them.
There was a good thing that came out of all this, though (besides the general all-around thankfulness of being safe!).....
Unfortunately, I've never had a dog before and am not really a "dog person," so it's been quite an adjustment, but she's very sweet and forgiving and patient with me. I've been feeling pretty miserable this past week, physically and emotionally, completely uninspired and rather depressed. If I cry she comes rushing over with a concerned look on her face and kisses (okay, licks, but close enough) away all the tears.
I've always wondered if something was the matter with me for being so sensitive and so slow to recover from big events. I'm often just fine at first, even stoic after a quick cry, and then a couple days later... bam. It all sinks in. I'm practically immobilized as my body and mind deal with it. (It's highly inconvenient, let me just say...)
So I was doing a bit of research online about coping and overwhelm and that sort of stuff when I ran across this lovely quote. It doesn't explain the weird delayed reaction, but it does explain a lot:
"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this:
A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.
To him... a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - - - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating."
-Pearl S. Buck, (1892-1973), recipient of the Pulitzer Prize in 1932 and of the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1938
I found that really, really comforting. And comforting to know that there are lots of other HSP (Highly Sensitive People) out there, and I am one. It's the first time I've really come across that term, HSP... perhaps it's been around for while, perhaps it's even considered passe... but to me it was a big dose of illumination, and I can't wait to read more and learn more about what it means + how to make the most of it + how to help heal the slow-to-recover parts.
Happy Monday :)
with lots of love from Tab